“Tam, Tam, Ta dam”… oooh the sound of wedding bells. marriage is such a wonderful instituition. this is when two people decide to give up their freedom… their SANITY… and their money, to be with the one that they love. however, some persons have some misconceptions about marriage, where they limit it to one single day. they thing about how large the wedding should be; the colour scheme and the party favourites, yet, they loose the significance of all the rest.
Marriage is more than that single day when you are surrounded by your friends, family and enemies. when they come dressed in their finery and eat your food, smile for the camera and place an expiration date on your union. marriage is the life, and guess when it begins… AFTER the wedding. After you have said your solemn vows and have kissed the bride, or tossed the bouquet. That’s when all the action starts! When you have to go back home with you “shinny new husband” or your “brand new wife”, What then? Many marriages fail because alot plan for the “day” and not many after. they probably thought that because they love each other, that everything would just fit together. life doesn’t work that way, marriage requires time and energy to make it work. when we get together alot of our attitudes and baggage from other relationships must be done away with, these can cripple relationships.
It isn’t the job of your husband or wife to be a “super hero”, to ride in on a white horse, with dazzling lights shinning and save you. That isn’t your spouse’s job. she shouldn’t have to reinforce your trust in women. she should be a pillar for you to lean on, she should be your life, your joy! likewise, a husband shouldn’t be an ATM machine, that spits out money at your request. He should be supportive, honest, caring and descent. however, ladies, please be realistic. no man is perfect, so please dont expect him to be. Expect him to make mistakes, say silly things, expect him to be an idiot form time to time. Just remember the love that you have for each other. Remember that the purpose for your union is because you want to share your life together.
So, what is it that YOU want… a wedding or a Marriage? There are some persons who just like the idea of a ring, but what is it that you want, and do you see this person making you laugh for twenty years to come. marriage is not a fairy tale. Happily ever after does not exist.
After happily ever after, there are fights and nights when the couch becomes your prison. Cinderelle never spoke about mood swings, mid life crisis and post partum depression. so, never think about HAPPILY EVER AFTER…
Just work with what you have, love and respect your partner, communicate until you’re tired and never feel that you are too big to say that you are sorry.
so… the day of your wedding will come, and unfortunately, it will go… and your marrigae will grow and mature into something beautiful….
Copyright December 2010.