I woke up this morning from that dream. My ever constant dream;
The dream that I’ve had for as long as I can remember,
I’m running, as always running.
Being chased by some unseen threat or force;
Running as if my life depended upon;
Whatever it is, I fear it;
It is the thing that scares me most.
I can hear the loud beating of my heart,
The sweat running down my face as I hide;
I crouch as low as I can get and make my body almost invisible.
Why won’t this monster leave me alone?
Why does it constantly torment me?
Why not chase after someone else?
I can hear its shuffling footsteps as it gets closer
I can’t stay here anymore, I must run;
The urge becomes great and overwhelming,
What else can I do but run?
What options do I have?
I can’t let it get to me;
And so, I run!
I run fast,
Over long distances in short time,
As I run, I feel as if I come outside my body;
And I must ask myself, why am I running?
What am I running from?
What is my biggest fear?
My greatest fear is waking up one morning and realizing that I have no one!
That is my monster!
That is my threat!
That is what scares me beyond anything else,
Without them, without him, without her, without you.
It terrifies me like a monster in my dream.
That is one existence that I choose not to embrace,
Never seeing your smile or kissing her cheek;
Never giving them a hug,
Or hearing him say “I love you”
And sooo… I will run.