Color Blind

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I want to immerse myself in black

Paint my body in the rich deep tones of a color

that was always meant to be bad.

I wish to bathe

and drown in its essence

as it speaks to a race

way beyond my understanding.

A people too complex for one pigment,

to diverse for one continent,

too monochromatic to swatched under one heading…

BLACK.

I wish to delve into its tints and shades

to discover a part of me that forever seems missing,

I keep on wishing

that one day,

others will see more than colored,

more than black

more than negro…

More than saturation and contrast…

but the rich history and culture that we represent

I want to smother and suffocate myself in the history of my fathers,

of a life that I will never know

but surely will help me grow

to be more…

more than dumb,

more than mediocre,

more than all the negatives that you have assigned to me,

more than a carbon copy of

what a black woman is destined to be,

I WANT TO BE ME…

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