Obsessed with Marriage

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When I was younger, after growing up in a home where my parents ( dad and stepmom) weren’t very happy, I swore that marriage would be the very last resort for me.
Fast forward a few boyfriends, a seven year old drama queen, a newborn, bills, taxes and life later, I think that I have changed my mind.
It seems that I have moved from one extreme to the next, from no marriage, to I wanna get married now now. Now my significant other and I are in a committed relationship, I love this man deeply, yet I can’t help wondering why is he holding back? I know I can be a real bitch at times and generally I don’t mean anything by it. Could it be my attitude? Or he’s being a total jackass, whose holding out for effect.
Thing is, even without the official proposal I have already started planning my wedding, lol. I know I’m not the first woman to do that sooooooo… 😜. These pass few weeks however, in my postpartum depressive state ( please note never to make serious decisions at this time) I decided that I no longer wanted to marry him…. Lol! Wow! I think he laughs at me sometimes, more than he normally should, but it’s not my fault that I like to express myself, I am a poet, after all.
Nevertheless, I’m watching that little bugger, cause I intend to get married, IN THIS DECADE! Before my vagina looses it’s elasticity and my breasts sag any further. Will keep you posted.

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