Had a rough night with the baby last night… Didn’t sleep till two Am, then she was up at 3:30. Here goes nothing.
I’m tired of being tired
Piling my feelings into big black bags of nothing
Pretending they don’t exist
Pretending for you that I’m ok.
I’m tired of being
Pinning my poetry down to frustration and stress
I’m tired of being unwanted,
The ugly duckling
Too smart to be dumb
But too dark to be pretty
Staring into puddles and looking glasses
Trying to see the beauty in a distorted me.
Strung out version of my former self.
The self the couldn’t give a shit
Who is just tired of being fucking tired
Going through the lengthy checklist of all the things wrong with me
That I should change so that I could win you!
My mythical nirvana,
Yet, the closer I get to you,
The more you look like a landfill
Reflecting the green of the garbage around you.