Writing 101: Serially Lost (part 1)
Having a baby at eighteen was never what I planned for myself, and I know it broke my father’s heart. He wanted me to be a doctor, even though we were poor and he had no idea how we would afford it, that was his dream for me. I was so ashamed and afraid that I hid it from him for five months, wearing big clothes and makeup to hide the signs. I contemplated abortion, thought that it was the only way to solve “my problem”, however, as faith would have it, I never got the money together to do it. I can still remember his face when he found out… he was shocked, broken, that was the second time I saw a grown man cry. He sobbed as if in agony and I knew that I hurt him, but in my mind I figured that he would come around. He did, but not before cutting me off for months. It tore me to pieces that I wasn’t his favorite, his precious anymore. I wasn’t the one that he boasted to his friends about anymore and I missed that.
By the time the baby came along everything was “back to normal”. The father of my child came around, after being a royal cunt for months, he started showing interests in me and our child. He was never the type of father to spend much time, yet, he provided for her, ensured that everything she needed and wanted was there. He just didn’t want me!