I never knew what they were called
i just knew that they were off limits
and true to my rebellious nature
I bought one
it was so easy to fake the courage that i didn’t feel
as i flipped through the “intimates” on the rack
as people stared at me
or maybe it was my mind
maybe no one noticed the school girl
oogling thin lace
that covered less than it exposed.
but I noticed everything
the yellow shirt with the pink flowers that they store attendant wore
every car that passed by that looked like my parents car
I knew it was wrong
getting caught up in things that weren’t child-like
but hormones were raging
and juices were flowing in ways
that I couldn’t understand.
It took a while to get accustomed to fabric being up there
but i managed
sometimes not always graciously
but i managed.