I know I pretend like i don’t need you but…

download

I want to possess you

Demons circling easy prey,

I pray that you will love me

Totally

Completely

Forgetting about past

Because we are past

The last

Man… woman

We are linked to these bodies

By energy

You to me

Me loving you

Wanting to be your shadow

Your conscience

Your choice

Your first thought

And your last smile…

I am amazed

At how effortless we fit,

Snug

Metaphysical locks and keys

That were crafted for each other.

Moving beyond long winded

exhausted arguments about everything

and nothing

i am nothing without you

a sentient being floating

without a place to call home.

because you are home

the cozy embrace of your arms is my salvation…

And as I make offering to profess my devotion

I pray that you would give me a notion

A sign

A burning bush

Or a simple smile

I know I pretend like I don’t need you

But

i love you…

from your resident corny writer

What are we…. Exactly?

8570567764429354464

I know nothing about you

it seems

caught up in my own mind

trying to turn sexship into a friendship

or is it fuckship

relationship…

fuck, shit…

I know nothing about you

apparently

but I can feel you undressing me with just the tone of your voice

when all is quiet

and i sleep at night

my mind settles in a spot right next to you

gazing into dark hues of brown and lust?

or love?

could it be like?

I know nothing about you but the rhythm of your thrusts

that my body has memorized like an orchestra playing in a show

bodies connecting in harmony as it makes music…

its beautiful

the sounds you make, when the intensity becomes to great

and you don’t wanna wait any longer

but you do

wait

because my satisfaction is the satisfaction that you seek…

I know nothing about you

not enough

that i should be connected in the way that i’m connected to you.

that blue is your favorite color

and you love perfume

or is it cologne?

I don’t know everything about you,

neither do I want to,

what I know

is just enough.

Its Perfect

images

it’s perfect

dressed in fine silk and thick wool

a relationship that shines

reflecting all the light of the universe around it…

it’s perfect

beautiful

filled with beautiful people

who must be perfect too…

But are they,

perfect

Beyond what the eyes can see

Dark closets and plushed pillows

so why do they pretend

living life like supermodels

perfect

airbrushed

flawless to the untrained eye and fake in all the ways it counts…

they were perfect

filled with well wishes and good intentions

but they never intended to fall out of love

stuck between starting over and pretending

pretending that its perfect

but all that glisters

hardly ever is gold

and some problems never have solutions

but whose perfect anyway?

No strings attached

I’m greedy

not merely satisfied

owning your body

I want to own your heart.

I know its complicated

and i knew the situation,

that you were not available

for me to love

no strings attached

was that what it was suppose to be?

to be honest it fought it

the attraction

to your eyes

your stare

your smile

the look that takes over as you climax…

I’m impressed

at everytime that you impress me

showing me

bits and pieces of more than just skin.

I know your situation

that your heart was too damaged to be available

to love

and i should respect that

and honestly,

i do

respect you

but every other day

when my mind lingers

I remember why rules were meant to be broken

my rules

cracked

shattered

vaporized

my mantra “don’t fall in love with this man”

wasted breath

and  useless  antics.

I never wanted to love

you

this much

at all…

but in between bodies tangled

and tangled sheets

i just did.

so this post is my breakout post… I’ve gotten back into my over reading and over drafting and trying to make sure that a poem is perfect or at least close before posting…. I’ve written almost every day for the month and what do i have to show for it, an inbox full of drafts. so… first post with no long winded grammar or spell checks, no revision X 10… no bullshit.

For Better or Worst Numb 

I really wish I could write about love… 

All the shits and giggles,

Clouded over by fluffy clouds 

And stars that are as cold as ice. 

But life has me 

For better and worse

Numb 

When it’s good 

It is, 

Good 

But bad reminds me of 

The devils lair 

Demented colors bouncing off caves, 

This retched feeling 

And I’m the one to be blamed! 

I loved once

Completely 

Fully 

Giving all or nothing. 

But life has me 

For better or worst numb, 

Making excuses

And second guesses 

As to why I can’t love 

Anymore. 

Maybe my heart went on vacation 

Because it was tired 

Of being hurt too! 

I really tried 

To love him 

Once upon a time 

But life changed me 

For better or worst!…

Hero complex 

  

I look up to you 

Wholly 

Solely 

Forgetting gossips 

Half truths 

And veracity. 

Because it will never be true 

As long as I belong to you! 

I worship you 

My deity

Creating stick figure idols in your image

Beating drums 

Hums 

Making spirituals… 

Legendary tales 

Passed down through generations 

My very own tradition of you,

The mentor that taught me love 

An education in life 

I all too willingly learned. 

Love

The myth 

That we’re  all so obsessed with, 

But for me… 

I’m obsessed with you 

I’m Not into Girls… But I want To…

  

It was experimenting 

Mixing chemicals 

And watching them react 

Admiring soft skin 

And round curves 

No I’m not into women… 

Anymore! 

I was experimenting 

Poetry became  our catalyst 

As we listened 

And we touched 

And we gazed 

Lyrically awoken,

She motivated me 

And I became 

Caught up with her. 

But It wasn’t suppose to get sexual, 

I swore it would’ve been platonic 

It had to be

After all we were girls 

And that was an abomination. 

But my lips craved hers 

And I got excited every time 

She wore her pink lips gloss,

Imagination running wild 

Pulses getting carried away… 

I was experimenting 

She was too

Who know 

In experimenting 

We would both find our truths 

Ready Made Man

Life is too short to spend it being broken

ultimately

fooling only you

making excuses,

it seems i’m clueless

that I refuse to see the choices

that you make

the time that you take

and the only heart

that’s breaking is mine

inside,

sometimes

I dream about you changing,

being all that I made you and more.

instead every night I cry,

trying to resist the urge to

write ranting angry poems

about what a complete asshole you are.

But life is too short,

and trees too precious

even for the electronic tapping of keys

to get frustrated words out.

Life is short to be broken and bitter

making excuses

and justifications for why you are

the way you are.

It’s exhausting

thinking about what I want and can’t have,

it’s 10pm

and i’m waiting up for you,

forgetting all my rules

and declarations

hoping that you’d be the man

I love

and show up,

but life’s too short…

Evolution of freedom: Handicap

once upona time, I had a thing for short guys… I thought that they were cute, cuddly and trusting! After all when you were less than 5’6″ there was no way you should be picky… My very own my sized doll! Years later, I have added that theory to another of my assumptions that is a bunch of bullshit. Short men weren’t special, they didn’t settle because they couldn’t get better, they weren’t safe, they gave no handicap in this game of love. Just like an ugly man wasn’t a handicap, there was always some woman, or man out there who’d think that ugly duckling was indeed a swan! At the end of the day, the short ones broke my heart just like the tall handsome ones.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Move On…

images

I met my soulmate already

on a dock

at 8am

in a land i didn’t know,

He was beautiful

and special

and annoying

but without knowing

we grew into each other

fitting like new skin

finishing sentences

sharing each other’s unspoken thoughts.

but time never seemed to be on our side,

distance separated

tempers flared

and significant others were always more significant than they should’ve been.

he belonged to me

totally

once upon a time

with no  vampires sucking the joy from his eyes

or the love from his heart.

i wish i could heal him

and show him the love that i still felt

but too much has passed,

time wasted

children brought into the world.

at the end of the day

he made his choice,

he made his choice…

and I wasn’t it!