Ronda. ..

She was only diagnosed three days ago

but she knew long before

that she was dying,

and i’d like to think that she’s made peace with it…

twenty three year old…

all tatted up

making mistakes and drawing her own conclusions

six months ago, she was invincible

doing what those afflicted by youth do best…

she had barely begun to live..

barely knew what she wanted,

wanted to be

what she wanted to do

and it wasn’t fair

that she should suffer,

wasting slowly into a pile of nothing

turning to a god that she never believed in before,

praying

crying screaming

going through all the stages of grief in an instant

she wouldn’t last long, she knew

she saw the stares

the unshed tears

the silence

when everyone

spoke to everyone but her

it wouldnt make a difference

wouldn’t change her fate

one day… soon

she would die

and that would be the end of that…

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I’m Not into Girls… But I want To…

  

It was experimenting 

Mixing chemicals 

And watching them react 

Admiring soft skin 

And round curves 

No I’m not into women… 

Anymore! 

I was experimenting 

Poetry became  our catalyst 

As we listened 

And we touched 

And we gazed 

Lyrically awoken,

She motivated me 

And I became 

Caught up with her. 

But It wasn’t suppose to get sexual, 

I swore it would’ve been platonic 

It had to be

After all we were girls 

And that was an abomination. 

But my lips craved hers 

And I got excited every time 

She wore her pink lips gloss,

Imagination running wild 

Pulses getting carried away… 

I was experimenting 

She was too

Who know 

In experimenting 

We would both find our truths 

Disclaimer to Evolution

For those who think evolution of freedom is vulgar, I do apologise, but it’s life which can be vulgar at times. 

As I said in the first post, a lot of persons especially women are uncomfortable with their sexuality, they have gotten so accustomed to changing their needs based on the partner they have rather than what they want. Instead of evoling into a confident woman who knows her body and what she likes we, yes even me second guess ourselves. 

And I just wanted to be honest, to you my readers and to Monochromatic me… Because whether we like it or not, these stories are here to tell! When we share our stories, we may be surprised how many people can relate… Soo I’m telling these stories…

So listen up or not!

Evolution of Freedom: Thongs

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I never knew what they were called

i just knew that they were off limits

and true to my rebellious nature

I bought one

it was so easy to fake the courage that i didn’t feel

that day

as i flipped through the “intimates” on the rack

hiding blushes

as people stared at me

or maybe it was my mind

maybe no one noticed the school girl

in uniform

oogling thin lace

that covered less than it exposed.

but I noticed everything

the yellow shirt with the pink flowers that they store attendant wore

every car that passed by that looked like my parents car

which was

EVERY car…

I knew it was wrong

getting caught up in things that weren’t child-like

but hormones were raging

and juices were flowing in ways

that I couldn’t understand.

It took a while to get accustomed to fabric being up there

but i managed

sometimes not always graciously

but i managed.

Evolution of Freedom: Anal

evoltion of freedom

I tried it once,

or twice ok fine…

it was like nine times

it was scary at first,

the unknown

the shame

the taboo of having a man balls deep in your asshole.

needless to say,

it was horrible

that first time

too rough and inexperienced my lover,

anxious to get it in

and he hurt me,

badly

and i decided that I’d never do that shit ever again

but in between getting older

and trying to hold on to a  man

and wanting to please someone i loved,

i hopped back on the horse.

one more time

just to see if it felt the same

with a fresh pair of eyes

and decent lubricant

and i loved it

those moments when i had the sweetest man touching me

who coaxed and teased me

satisfying me into oblivion

allowing me to relax so that he could please me….

I loved his patience

i still don’t love anal…

but i loved it with him.