What are we…. Exactly?

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I know nothing about you

it seems

caught up in my own mind

trying to turn sexship into a friendship

or is it fuckship

relationship…

fuck, shit…

I know nothing about you

apparently

but I can feel you undressing me with just the tone of your voice

when all is quiet

and i sleep at night

my mind settles in a spot right next to you

gazing into dark hues of brown and lust?

or love?

could it be like?

I know nothing about you but the rhythm of your thrusts

that my body has memorized like an orchestra playing in a show

bodies connecting in harmony as it makes music…

its beautiful

the sounds you make, when the intensity becomes to great

and you don’t wanna wait any longer

but you do

wait

because my satisfaction is the satisfaction that you seek…

I know nothing about you

not enough

that i should be connected in the way that i’m connected to you.

that blue is your favorite color

and you love perfume

or is it cologne?

I don’t know everything about you,

neither do I want to,

what I know

is just enough.

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No strings attached

I’m greedy

not merely satisfied

owning your body

I want to own your heart.

I know its complicated

and i knew the situation,

that you were not available

for me to love

no strings attached

was that what it was suppose to be?

to be honest it fought it

the attraction

to your eyes

your stare

your smile

the look that takes over as you climax…

I’m impressed

at everytime that you impress me

showing me

bits and pieces of more than just skin.

I know your situation

that your heart was too damaged to be available

to love

and i should respect that

and honestly,

i do

respect you

but every other day

when my mind lingers

I remember why rules were meant to be broken

my rules

cracked

shattered

vaporized

my mantra “don’t fall in love with this man”

wasted breath

and  useless  antics.

I never wanted to love

you

this much

at all…

but in between bodies tangled

and tangled sheets

i just did.

so this post is my breakout post… I’ve gotten back into my over reading and over drafting and trying to make sure that a poem is perfect or at least close before posting…. I’ve written almost every day for the month and what do i have to show for it, an inbox full of drafts. so… first post with no long winded grammar or spell checks, no revision X 10… no bullshit.

The After, after

  

I know it’s good when I dont think 

When emotion melts away 

And insecurities fade into the background.

I’ve become a super human 

Hearing moans you barely uttered 

Muttering 

Incoherent languages 

And pleads 

“Baby, don’t stop” 

But I don’t hear them,

too busy 

in my zone 

Keeping rythmn in my mind 

And tempo in my legs! 

Most times I’m shaking, 

When it’s all over 

My body unable to cope 

With the electricity flowing through me

To you 

And it almost shocks 

When our fingers touch… 

But for me, it’s the smell

A mix of musk and sweat

my mouth begins to water just contemplating 

Taking you again… 

I know it’s good…

Cause it’s always good!

That New Smell…

IMG_2245.JPG As a woman, my vagina is one of  the last thing that I would want to discuss publically. some things you just dont talk about;  tampons and douching and all the other gagets that are inserted into a vagina isn’t a discussion you have  over Sunday dinner. No woman wants to think of that area as smelly or fishy or stale. However, sometimes, women have stale coochie, its nothing spectacular, nothing to talk about or even write about. But this culture of silence when it comes to vaginal issues is getting a little old and tired. The only issue everybody  wants to discuss is what comes out of a vagina, how old, viable and why it will always be murder. Sometimes every vagina has an odor…as much as we would like to live in a fantasy world where our down yonder parts retains that “just showered” scent, we should face it,..it doesn’t, and that’s ok! however there are products that we can use to deal with the “I just ran seven miles on a treadmill” scent. Most women have a vaginal hygiene routine and if you dont have one, you probably should start one. I recently began using Summer’s eve, I’ve always heard women say that they used it and I use to scoff at that. Thinking that it was for “bad sick” or infections, boy was I wrong. I got this morning paradise one for sensitive skin, let me tell you, IT WORKS! I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so fresh and clean and horny! I don’t think it’s a side effect of using it, but my little lady smelt so good, I just wanted someone else to bask in her awesomeness. It seems sometimes that our “lady” hygiene is dependent on when we will be having some sex. Now I’m no feminist, but what does your vagina have to do with a man? Yes… They make it feel all good, make you feel like you can climb walls and become prima ballerina. But him coming and going shouldn’t lessen the importance of care you give to yourself. So because he loves a bushy vagina, you let it grow uncontrollably? Women need to stop allowing men to dictate what happens with the girlie parts. If they don’t like it, tough! Sometimes you can compromise for the man who is in your life, after all, he does spend some time there, he should be comfortable, but so should you. That being said, we need to take care of our ladies, make her feel nice, give her a lil trim {or wax, if your into that kinda thing}, use some pH balanced products, make her smell clean. She doesn’t need to smell like daisies, just not like Pollock either. She may not be much, may not the right shape or size but she’s all you have, treat her well.

I’m Not into Girls… But I want To…

  

It was experimenting 

Mixing chemicals 

And watching them react 

Admiring soft skin 

And round curves 

No I’m not into women… 

Anymore! 

I was experimenting 

Poetry became  our catalyst 

As we listened 

And we touched 

And we gazed 

Lyrically awoken,

She motivated me 

And I became 

Caught up with her. 

But It wasn’t suppose to get sexual, 

I swore it would’ve been platonic 

It had to be

After all we were girls 

And that was an abomination. 

But my lips craved hers 

And I got excited every time 

She wore her pink lips gloss,

Imagination running wild 

Pulses getting carried away… 

I was experimenting 

She was too

Who know 

In experimenting 

We would both find our truths 

Evolution in Freedom: He showed me his penis

tumblr_m3wn59ybMH1rrrm8ro1_500he just whipped it out

all swollen and ugly

like  a rabid dog

dribbling semen

and something else that looked totally gross.

he whipped it out

without provocation

or permission,

his penis

his most crowning glory

standing downright

trying to show me just how much he admired me.

I felt annoyed

from all the sarcasm and other insults that i stifled

just to protect

his little feelings

boosting his ego.

some crowning glory,

short, stumpy

with a curved shaft and a big head.

it was unattractive

his little member

and it reminded me

of chinese egg noodles and American meatballs!

I played it down to spare his feelings

After all he was a man

so chances are he was soft in the middle…

He stared

Expectantly

Eagerly waiting for praise

That I would never utter

I could at least try

But why bother

With a lie

fuck him and his little dick

Disclaimer to Evolution

For those who think evolution of freedom is vulgar, I do apologise, but it’s life which can be vulgar at times. 

As I said in the first post, a lot of persons especially women are uncomfortable with their sexuality, they have gotten so accustomed to changing their needs based on the partner they have rather than what they want. Instead of evoling into a confident woman who knows her body and what she likes we, yes even me second guess ourselves. 

And I just wanted to be honest, to you my readers and to Monochromatic me… Because whether we like it or not, these stories are here to tell! When we share our stories, we may be surprised how many people can relate… Soo I’m telling these stories…

So listen up or not!

Evolution of Freedom: Anal

evoltion of freedom

I tried it once,

or twice ok fine…

it was like nine times

it was scary at first,

the unknown

the shame

the taboo of having a man balls deep in your asshole.

needless to say,

it was horrible

that first time

too rough and inexperienced my lover,

anxious to get it in

and he hurt me,

badly

and i decided that I’d never do that shit ever again

but in between getting older

and trying to hold on to a  man

and wanting to please someone i loved,

i hopped back on the horse.

one more time

just to see if it felt the same

with a fresh pair of eyes

and decent lubricant

and i loved it

those moments when i had the sweetest man touching me

who coaxed and teased me

satisfying me into oblivion

allowing me to relax so that he could please me….

I loved his patience

i still don’t love anal…

but i loved it with him.

Evolution of Freedom: Origins

fashionknight-blog-123.blogspot.com

fashionknight-blog-123.blogspot.com

So… just recently, i was talking to my sister and we decided that we wanted to start a business. We went through the different types of businesses that we could open, whether online or store front… needless to say, I came up with a sex shop.

I started doing my research…still doing research actually, however, i began evaluating my feelings on sex, toys, all the other predilections that others are addicted to, that i was addicted to. I know i’m probably not making much sense right now, but i decided to go back, way back, from virgin to freak to ME…

so i’ve devised a little compilation of pieces, some about me… some about other women i know… some about me.. but whatever your opinions i hope that you start to evaluate your feelings on the issue. I hope that someone becomes comfortable in their sexuality, or tries something they’ve always wanted to try. whatever you decide to do, be safe and be YOU.

Please…Don’t go

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I’ve been thinking

About how I would love to kiss you

Like lovers

Reunited

From years of being apart,

Hungry

Hot

Needy,

Needing it

And each other

Tracing lips

Grabbing hips

Feeling,

touching

Trying to find words

But flowing tears instead.

I need you to kiss me!

baby

frantically

inhaling air that hasn’t left my lungs yet

biting lips,

fervent nips

I just need you

now

give me this out of body experience

that I’ve been craving

and then maybe

it may be enough

kiss me…

like its our last

forgetting about the past

imprinting on me new memories

kiss me…

until my lips

are full and swollen

and then walk away!